Goodbye 2010. I will not miss you. This year has certainly been a rough one.
The first major blow happened in February with my father passing away. We haven't had a relationship in over ten years, yet his death hit me hard. We had to go back to his house, my childhood home, to clean it all out. It really hurt watching my childhood home disassembled and thrown in the back of a uhaul.
In May we moved. Moving is normally stressful. This move was horrendous. We were unprepared. With all the other stressors going on during that time (fiancé quitting his job for example) things went undone and packing was done last minute. My overly judgmental half-siblings took this opportunity to lecture me, degrade me, and scream in my face about all the things I don't do "right".
In June, fiancé got a DUI after leaving his sister's birthday party. The rest of the summer months were decent. Yet, the lack of a job and the consequences that came with the DUI led fiancé into a pretty deep depression. Depression led to more drinking, less job searching, and more debt.
In October, the family issues returned. My sister and niece decided to show their emotional age and post untrue, nasty comments about fiancé and me on facebook. This led to fiancé being thrown out of our house and moved into his mothers. Things were decent for a short while, until the drinking took over again.
In November, my mom let fiancé come back to stay with us. The same week, his car was repossessed. And once again, this led to more depression, less job searching, more drinking, and debt.
December has been filled with fighting until fiancé decided to go to rehab. It's been very tough, considering he didn't leave with us on good terms. To be honest, although I know it's for the best, I hate that it had to come to this. I hate that he had to leave us in order to better himself. But I still love him, and will stick by him until he tells me otherwise.
The positives of the year include watching Jay grow. He's speaking a lot now and getting so big. We had a lot of fun days in the park during the summer. I also found spirituality that clicks with me and makes life a little more fulfilling.
I'm trying to start 2011 with a fresh outlook and lots of goals. Nothing unrealistic. But that's another post.